Drawing back from Desire

As to sexual impulse. Regard it not as something sinful and horrible and attractive at the same time, but as a mistake and wrong movement of the lower nature. Reject it entirely, not by struggling with it, but by drawing back from it, detaching yourself and refusing your consent; look at it as something not your own, but imposed on you by a force of Nature outside you. Refuse all consent to the imposition. If anything in your vital consents, insist on that part of you withdrawing its consent. Call in the Divine Force to help you in your withdrawal and refusal. If you can do this quietly and resolutely and patiently, in the end your inner will will prevail against the habit of the outer Nature. …

The trouble of the sex-impulse is bound to dwindle away if you are in earnest about getting rid of it. The difficulty is that part of your nature (especially, the lower vital and the subconscient which is active in sleep) keeps the memory and attachment to these movements, and you do not open these parts and make them accept the Mother’s Light and Force to purify them. If you did that and, instead of lamenting and getting troubled and clinging to the idea that you cannot get rid of these things, insisted quietly with a calm faith and patient resolution on their disappearance, separating yourself from them, refusing to accept them or at all regard them as part of yourself, they would after a time lose their force and dwindle.

—Sri Aurobindo
Bases of Yoga, 76, 78.

Brahmajna Ma on Brahmacharya

Enjoying sexual pleasures is like taking a sweetened ball of poison. Nothing covers the Self as much as this. The more this desire fades away, the thinner will be the cover.

Men consider sexual instinct as bad in its gross manifestation. Decrying it in this way is not going deep enough, for they still enjoy the inclination inwardly. As long as this state of mind continues sexual impulse will not be checked. To understand that there is no real pleasure in it is the correct understanding.

As long as it is thought that an object is pleasurable it cannot be given up. When sense-objects are regarded as dangerous and distasteful, like snakes and poison, none will feel sorry to give them up. When it is understood by correct reasoning that far from being pleasurable the sense-objects cover real bliss and peace, then they will be regarded as poison and it will be an easy affair to give them up.

Anticipation of the fulfilment of desire does not allow men any rest, it seduces men by promising pleasure but cannot give it. Happiness cannot be had unless anticipation of the fulfilment of desire is given up. Renunciation of hope alone can lead to peace. The more one gives up anticipation, the more one’s mind becomes relieved from bondage.

—Brahmajna Ma

Brahmajna Ma on Desire

A few months after I took the garb, one day she said suddenly, “The sex impulse is very strong in you even now.”

I said nothing and began to search in my mind for the explanation of this remark, but failed. Next day, when I was alone with her, I said that I could not find out the reason of her previous day’s remark. She replied, “It is clear. I see that you become angry sometimes. What is anger? When desire is checked, anger takes shape. As you become angry you must still have desires, and when you have desires the strongest, namely the sex impulse, must also be in you, though it may be in a latent state. The three principal enemies to the pacification of the mind are, sex impulse (kāma), anger (krodha), and the feeling of want (lobha). The first is the last to go, so when the second and third are visible it is certain that the first is also present.”

From that time I started the habit of looking upon any and every woman I had occasion to meet as an image of the Divine Mother and if I had occasion to talk or write to a lady I would address her as mother. This has helped me a good deal.

—The Life and Teaching of Sri Brahmajna Ma, Swami Prabudhananda, Sadhu Arunachala (Major A W Chadwick), ed. (Deoghar: D N Sen, Santi Asram, Bela Bagan, 1961) 8.

Turn away from the sex-impulse

The sadhak has to turn away entirely from the invasion of the vital and the physical by the sex-impulse—for, if he does not conquer the sex impulse there an be no settling in the body of the divine consciousness and the divine Ananda.

—Sri Aurobindo
Bases of Yoga, 69.

Gaining Control of the Passions

You need not take to such awful measures to get control over your passions. Such drastic and cruel means are for the tamasic—mudha. Mother will not put you to such violent methods in order to gain mastery over carnal desires. They will go away of themselves when your desire for realizing the Mother would increase, as a man would not care to have treacle after he has tasted candy. So when you get real taste for divine pleasure all craving for sense pleasure will cease to trouble you anymore. One thing that is needful for you just now is to think of Mother and Mother alone and to look to nothing [else] for help or guidance. Have absolute faith in Mother that she will protect you and lead you aright, and you will be saved for certain. …
For you is the path of love and not torture. Love for Mother will take away the love for the flesh from your mind.
(Written from Almora on 3 November 1916 to Dr D'Mello)
From: Spiritual Treasures: Letters of Swami Turiyananda, trans. and ed. Swami Chetanananda (St Louis: Vedanta Society, 1992), 255.